A personal experience shared by me, for you…
As this blog is a piece of my everyday life I feel that it is extremely important for me to share my ups and downs with you.
Today was one of those days when you explode with feelings and just start crying. Since I have a lot of trouble with my stomach I also have quite low self-esteem and certain things trigger me and I start bawling my eyes out. The diagnosis I have is called IBS and due to that I get really swollen during the day and often get intense cramps. I try to live with it and accept it, so I keep most of my feelings about it to myself since I try not to be selfish and I try to remember that there are others with bigger problems.
Today me and my friends went shopping for a party, parties can be one of those triggers, parties mean dressing up and my friends often wear tight and sexy clothes which I can’t
wear and shopping just gives me anxiety. So today I tried a skirt an it was to tight and I couldn’t breathe and when I relaxed my stomach you could see how swollen I was. This made me snap and start crying, all the emotions just came creeping on me.
This might seem odd to some and that is why it is hard for me to handle and explain this problem. You truly can’t understand how it feels to constantly be swollen unless you have experienced it yourself for a longer period of time. The frustration with this problem is that doctors can’t really explain it and it is hard to cure, even if I eat healthy and exercise the problem still doesn’t dissapear(it can help a bit though). I definetely don’t cry frequently but sometimes you have to break down and restart your body and mindset, that was what I did today. A fresh start.
(Right now I am completely and utterly tired, I am sitting in my bed with popcorn and relaxing since the crying jus drained me emotionally, I feel better though) 🙂